"I'm just waiting for a 90 mile water wall to take me out of your view."

FFFFFFFFFTW. In the most gravest of senses :/
It’s official. The Club Monaco empire has fallen. They are like, fucking dead to me. The above depiction of what passes for Club Monaco fashion is laughable at best. It’s a pre-emptive attempt to rescue themselves before their inevitable fate reaches them. Do you feel the same way I do? That if you saw someone wearing any one of those outfits that you might be compelled to kick their ass? Anyway, God bless you Club Monaco. Glasses raised to your former glory. I will always remember you with great fondness. Casually waltzing into your stores with a Grande Caramel Macchiato in one hand and a debit card in the other. Striding across your elegant oak polished floors. Beaming. However, this shit is unacceptable. What would you even call this look? Artfag Golfer?
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I ran into some former myspace friends (In the days I had a profile) in Cabbagetown the other day. They now live here. Aces! Everyone is fucking moving here. I was looking at property in my area and some of the homes are affordable. I found a tiny house at the end of a cul de sac that’s being sold for 488k – which is a steal, especially in this neighbourhood. I figure it’s probably haunted. It is right next to the park. The park, is your background. French ladies your neighbours and so on. It also has an english garden, well, if the english garden had Down Syndrome, really. Earlier today I was researching a lamp I wanted. I always remember strange details from movies. I remember having seen “The Breakup” featuring Jennifer Aniston. One scene featured this green bedside lamp that I was geeking out over. I randomly googled “Green lamp. The Breakup. Jennifer Aniston” and came up with this. It's not the same one, and the photo is bad. Just imagine something like that but green, very polished and great. Acquisition is the epitome of adulthood, kids.
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This would be the part of the post where I rattle on about The National. I’ve come to be obsessed with them, truthfully. They’ve taken over my soul. I was just about to launch into stating why they are so great but realized I sounded like a music asshole. One of the great things about this band is how you can love so many songs at once, put them aside for awhile and rediscover lesser listened songs that become your new favourites. Such is the case with 90 Mile Water Wall and Secret Meeting. Let me just state for the record that if you don’t, at the very least, like these songs, I probably don’t like you. And you and I will not have a single thing in common. If you watch this clip of them perform one of my favs, you’ll notice Matt Berninger does this little “horizontal dance” thingy with his hips. It’s near the end there. I tell you what. If I was in The National and I was Matt Berninger, I would be fucking dancing like that all the time.
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In other news, comrade Iva has brought forth intel to Oasis Camp that the new Oasis Album is not as crap as we are lead to believe. She brings you all proof. Iva has been given a raise.
This is Noel Gallagher.