Fashionistas. We don't need ya!

♥

2009-10-30T18:25:46Z

"cos things go together better than others like manic depression and lack of sexualality"

2009-10-16T20:54:29Z

O' hai, we're the cribs and we are perfect, holler!

BUS WANKERS! What's up? Haven't updated this shit in foreverski. I'll give it a go next week or something. I just wanted to say that my sister will be on BBC (UK/US/World Service) next week or the following week. They are doing a short documentary and interview. It's not 100%. She might get bumped if something more important happens -- like Madonna purchasing another Malawian child or somfing. So ya. *dryhump/lick* ya'all. Godspeed and that!

"Kickin' up a storm, from the day that I was born."

2009-09-17T19:32:59Z

What's the difference between a brontosaurus and a Mac?

A brontosaurus runs faster.

"You'll never see this.... face again."

2009-09-14T19:55:15Z

Unrelated, the very last episode of Lost airs on may 19th, 2010. Let me rephrase that for dramatic effect; The series finale of Lost is on May 19th, 2010. Then the series is over.

The Lost series draws to an end on May 19th. Then you will have to find something else to watch/do because Lost will have ended. Period. Bacon is good for me.

Messed Up Baby Like The Berlin Wall.

2009-09-04T03:19:30Z

(legal disclaimer: photo not mine. personal disclaimer: wish it were)

I must confess that I'm most likely at the point of repeating myself in these parts. I think that with the demise of Oasis, I'm replacing Liam Gallagher as the coolest person in music. The coolest [living] person in music is Ryan Jarman (of Cribs fame). Ryan Jarman is, definitively, the coolest person in rock. Noel Gallagher remains the king of everything. That's the list. Remember lists!

The Cribs new disc drops on September 7th. I can tell you right now, it's a total clusterfuck of everything Epic. The above clip is a track off the new album which features Johnny [Fucking] Marr. Yeah, he ASKED if he could be in the band. The following is ~~my boyfriend~~ Ryan Jarman on a British gameshow. Love the Yorkshire accent. And that's all I'm willing to blather on about at 11:16pm.

emperor3d @ 2009-09-01T01:11:00

2009-09-01T05:13:28Z

fucking shit shit fuck fuck shit fucking shit arse bitch fuck shit

2009-08-28T22:43:03Z

NOEL GALLAGHER HAS LEFT OASIS. HE HAS QUIT THE BAND. LIAM AND NOEL GOT INTO A FIGHT AND LIAM SMASHED HIS GUITAR AND NOEL HAS LEFT THE BAND (AGAIN BUT THIS IS MORE SERIOUS IT SEEMS). I AM SO BUSTED RIGHT NOW. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEL.

This is what sadness reads like

NOEL WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!
STOP HURTING ME NOEL!

Rawr.

2009-08-26T00:03:33Z

Best wedding proposal EVER. Smoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooth.

I survived F2-strength tornadoes, a 24 hour blackout and the monster from Cloverfield this past weekend. Details to follow, some other time maybe.

"Since this dance began, that's where I am."

2009-08-13T03:08:00Z

Loose Update. If I'm honest wifmyself I'll relay intel. revealing that keeping up with the Joneses is something I'm having a hard time doing. So much so that I don't much identify with them -- Metaphorically, nowamean? But I must tell you that it feels rather good slipping into a pair of 31" jeans. Well, sorta fitting them. This is even more miraculous considering I've got rather womanly hips. My pelvic bone now protrudes outwardly. Awkward as this is, I do enjoy touching them. Is that weird? Rather. Anyway, godbless the 40 minutes of Cardio a day I do. The six meals -- the six tiny meals/per day I ingest that comprise mostly of protein and twice the daily requirement of fibre that is recommended -- the 7-9 litres of filtered water which passes through me, daily. So, cheers to frequent bowel movements! And may Allah/Buddha collectively bless the moments I'm feeling a bit snarky and go for the 10cm x 10cm square of Aged White Cheddar. Call it a mini foodgasm of sorts, really. I am still very far from having Brad Pitt's abs from the days of Snatch, but fuck me I'm making a go of it. We'll revisit this come November/December. Well, with a bit of luck/dedication I guess. There's a quote I read somewhere, I think it was Men's Health Magazine and I think the person saying it was Will Smith (not sure), it read; "You may be better looking than me and have me up on 9 other points. You get me on a treadmill and two things are gonna happen. I'm gonna outlast you or I'm gonna [fucking] die.". I'm paraphrasing and I threw in the fucking to sound more dramatic but yeah, it's like that these days.

Winston Churchill once said If you are going through hell, keep going. Had he never existed to steal my thunder and had I been El Presidente of my own Republic[a], I'd have brilliantly quoted myself in saying If you're going through hell, shop!. In the midst of being rather stressed out, I fancied a bit of a shop at the Yorkdale mall. For my fellow Torontonians, you'll be pleased to know the mall now has a Hugo Boss (I just had a tiny orgasm) and American Apparel. But this American Apparel has apparently hired the non-asshole contingent of the Hipster n00bs. So, win. I must say, shopping is something I'm rather good at. Nobody can refute this. This must have been the best outing I've ever had. Everything I set out to get, I got. Complemented by the euphoric high brought about by Starbucks and Oasis (iPod). The night was then concluded by the hot cashier lady kinda sorta hitting on me at one of the stores illustrated above. This would not be particularly note-worthy otherwise, but this is so because she was a Pakistani from England complete with English (thinkin' Brighton?) accent and looked like a shorter/less visibly artsy/more business casual-yet-SASy version of Natasha Khan. *High Five* Or maybe it's racist to think any Pakistani with an English accent looks like Natasha Khan *shrugs shoulders*. I should also tell you that the Club Monaco at Yorkdale has some amazing new gear. Their scarves... ohhohohohoh their scarves.

O_o And yeah I bought I fedora, you wanna go me betch?

I'm currently studying for my Network+ Certification. It's proving to be a lot harder than I had anticipated. I have my A+ cert. that I took a few years ago but this is the crown-jewel of the Comptia certifications. I don't know why I'm doing this. Initially I felt like it would be sort of like bragging rights for geekdom. I just wanted to do this to become more technically well-rounded or however that goes. But I see so many jackoffs working in IT as Network Admin. who don't know how to properly swap NICs, implement networks and administer user rights that it just makes me so mad because they're all making mad coin. Once I get this (along with some of my work experience and other qualifications), I could, technically, join that field but I'm on the fence with that one. I'm just burned out having to memorize this fucking 801.XX standards, converting IPs to fucking binary and understanding every incarnation of 10BaseXX. Oh Winston Churchill, where the fuck you at?? Half this stuff is stuff I already know or are expanding upon. The other half is making me lose my marbles a 'lil. I'm scheduling myself to take the exam at the end of this month. I require 80% to pass. Lots of people fail the first time. I'm already nervous, the exam isn't cheap. I've not taken any class to learn this, like the other knobheads who pay in excess of over 1k. Just a book, my DOS shell and the Internet. Then a month later I'm taking my Secure+ which is a lot easier, I believe. Yup. There you go.

It is now less than half a year until the last season of Lost. Get on down with your badass self.

I've admired this song & video for over a year. Bit Chav'y but now you have the chance to heart it too. It makes me want to go biking along the rural bits of France. Although the geographic topology revealed in this video is that of Monaco.

Interesting fact about Monaco via Wikipedia: Monaco is the world's most densely populated sovereign country, and the world's smallest French-speaking country. An average person takes only 56 minutes to walk across the width of the country. Monaco is the name of the country as well as the name of its capital city. It is often regarded as a tax haven, and many of its inhabitants are wealthy and from foreign countries, making up a majority of the population, at around 84%.

Goodnight.

emperor3d @ 2009-07-26T00:53:00

2009-07-26T04:59:59Z

/// Sarah P[h]alin'

2009-07-21T01:41:44Z

[Read More Here]

Americans are actually correct when they reference their country as being the land of opportunity. If Winston Churchill quotes don't get you through the most difficult of times -- "If you're going through hell, keep going" --, I implore you to remember the following; If Sarah Fucking Palin can become such an influential/powerful person, surely I can make a go of things. Guys, look at this messenger bag I just ordered. It's pretty much the greatest thing you ever saw today, roight?!

I'm contemplating videotaping myself singing and playing Oasis' D'yer Wanna Be A Spaceman on my guitar and posting it on YouTube. I'd sing it in a Southern American accent and then in my best Churchill. Churchill, I says. Nay, rather, but in all srslyness, I'll most likely be posting a lot of video projects in the coming months that feature timelapse videography and fucking brilliant edit cuts. I've recently mastered Adobe Premiere CS4 in conjunction with After Effects. Win[ner]. Believe!

How you doin'?

Heart Swells Which Make Us Explode.

2009-07-20T03:22:33Z

Golden German Nazi Gnome knows what you did last summer. In fact, Gold German Nazi Gnome knows what you're doing right now. Golden German Nazi Gnome wouldn't be such a n00btube had it not been for the simple fact that Golden German Nazi Gnome is... well, a Golden German Nazi Gnome. There's approximately something like 45,000 U.S. troops still stationed in Germany, to this day. They set up shop there after the second World War. Let's hope they stay there for rest of time? In the event that you know, you know? Yeah No?

Ridiculous Shit, Really Really Really.

Today, I find, is a distinctively Foals-oriented day. I really think that these guys are such brilliant musicians. I can't help but face the unfortunate reality that they strike me as being rather... scenester dicks. The lead singer has the annoying atmosphere/aura about him. I can't quite place it. He's so short. I sort of want to punch him? However, the strange thing I am about to show you PEOPLES is that in the following video that very same lead singer is wearing a Club Monaco sweater that I am wearing in my default icon. That's brilllllllllllll. Iant. Do you see it? Anyway, this song has always p4n3d my own very soul. Right to the core. CHEERS! ////xx

This afternoon I was studying and learning about the inner workings of routers and NICs and switches and learning the various layers of the OSI model and what network protocols are applicable to what (don't worry, geekwank there) until the power went out for the second time today. Being helpless to the Epic Fail abound, I fucked off and went for a walk. As is customary in this parts, livejournalically-speaking, here are some photos of my hood, y'all.

We have this gang thing in our area. This would be an example of their handy work in one of the alleys near my house. I don't know what it means. I know I hate the word 'penis' but I love the colour combination. Green on Charcoal Grey is an amazing design swatch from which to work from.

Tiger lilies? I think? Hi?

Snow cones are abundant here. I love them more than I love you *hugs*

This door facade is absolutely amazing. I refer to this house as the Castle of Cabbagetown, due to its enormity. These doors are like the door version of this emoticon (B] Good stuff!

The return of the Purple Flower Dildo. As previously photographed/re-photographed.

The Witch House, as previously blogged about. There are stories. A very nasty women lived in this home in the 50's. It's a lil creepy looking at the curtains on the top floor. It has been well-preserved from old timmmmes. K.

This house resides on one of my favourite streets. This house also makes me LOL quite hard. It almost appears like the house on the right were like So we have to be surgical with this vine problem. We can't have NONE of that! and the people on the left were like Fuck it!. I love the house on the left.

We now have a Starbucks. We are (yuppies) Borg. Suck it! Gentrification Win.

I call this a Banana lilie.. lillie... lilly [or whatever]

*high five/squirm*

/// Clusterfucked

2009-07-17T01:26:12Z

For more, seek this instance of OMFG[ness] It's the quintessential English song, IMO. min. 4:07-4:35 would be the working definition of Fucking Epic.

Concerts a SAS (that's me!) will be attending in the coming months; (reference: * denotes 50/50 possibility of attendance, whereas boldness refers to me shamefully shitting myself in gleeful anticipatory clusterfuckedness). This is mostly for my own benefit, really.

24-JUL-09 THE WALKMEN LEE'S
9-AUG-09 *LYKKE LI SOUND ACADEMY
10-AUG-09 *FRIENDLY FIRES LEE'S
23-SEP-09 CHARLATANS UK MOD CLUB
26-SEP-09 WHITE LIES PHOENIX
10-OCT-09 THE TWILIGHT SAD EL MOCAMBO

I fear I'm forgetting a few. Oh also Arctic Monkeys, maybe. I'm leaving now, for ice-cream. Mint Chip. Waffle cone. Walk. iPod[ge]. Frolics, once more, into the great good night, Et Cetera. In parting, here a photo my friend Annette had posted elsewhere. It makes me laugh out loud.

/// We're In The Shit Now

2009-07-13T03:17:33Z

I have not updated in a while. My free time has been devoted to studying for various Exam Certifications, so please don't think I'm neglecting y'all. I just strive to be rich so I can buy you all nice things.

Demitri The [Unloved] Lover

Before I relay the chain of events that unfolded this afternoon, I must briefly inform you of who Demitri The Lover is. In short, Demitri [The Lover] is basically the taint of the Ass that is Toronto. He's a sort of, for lack of more appropriate words, cult-leader who's responsible for a group of people seeking to get laid...? in the most deviant ways. His actions are borderline rapist. He's a sleazy sexual predator who has based his.... hobby.... on Tom Cruise's character in the movie Magnolia. You can visit his official website here: http://www.dimitrithelover.com/ About a year ago, I had posted on here of THIS YOUTUBE VIDEO of a recorded conversation between Demitri and some girl named Olga. He's absolutely fucking crazy. This story is a little bizarre because it was only last week that Demetri was mentioned on the Toronto LJ community.

Earlier today, Demitri The Lover met me. I was shopping for groceries at the No Frills in my hood. Ahead of me in line by two people was a young woman by herself. For whatever reason or reasons unknown to me, I had trained my attention, whilst waiting, on her for awhile. I wasn't thinking anything in particular other than, I wonder what she does for a living / Trying to figure out what she bought for groceries / Noticing freckles. I didn't think much else of it all, as per I was paying for my groceries in anticipation of my dinner. Which was fantastic, obvz. So anyway, I'm walking to the intersection of Parliament & Carlton (in front of Home Hardware) when I hear an audible ...(something something) elegant. I then turn around only to see what appeared to be Demitri The Lover talking to the very same girl I had seen in the grocery store. I had to do a double-take because I didn't really believe all I was seeing. He looked proper fucking surreal with his long curly greasy hair and Gino clothing. He was not particularly [f]ugly but he was blathering like a fucking n00b and this, fairly innocent-looking, girl was being subjected to this very awkward scenario. So I paused a bit, thought of my options and concluded I had to do what I had to do. I had vaguely remembered a scene in a commercial or a movie in which a person diffuses a similar situation by approaching the would-be victim and pretending to know this person by striking up a conversation which takes centre-stage. So I ~~CLOCKED THE FUCKER IN THE HEAD~~ walked up to the girl and said OMG JENN IS THAT YOU? and I'm fairly certain she knew I was playing out this fictitious scenario as a means to saving her from the clusterfuck of situation currently unfolding in her life, right there and then. So then I'm all loike, OMG this is awesome. I haven't seen you in sooooooo long....*bullshit bullshit*. I was just heading up to Starbucks to get a coffee *bullshit bullshit*, walk with me? and she was like Yes! Let's go! or something. So then Demitri The Lover, being a little bitch, was all like Uhhh....please read the literature, you won't be dissapointed.... in this sort of defeated tone complete with a smile that's the metaphorical twin of a badly-executed fake tan. I just gave him The Eye. Not many people have seen my The Eye look... I digress. So then I walk her away from Demitri all fucking suave-like. I felt like this girl might be thinking that I was part of this ploy or scheme brought forth by Demetri The Lover, so I basically just walked with her to the corner and informed her of who Demitri The Lover was and why I approached her in the first place. I did all this as she was reading this pamphlet he had provided. If you curious to what the pamphlet was, click here. She would occasionally utter a WTF?! intermittently throughout our conversation as she read the literature. As it turns out, she just moved to Toronto and to this area. So I can only imagine how she must have felt. I then properly introduced myself, shook her hand and was on my way. She said Thank you so much and gave me an expression which was representative of the requirement to bake me a cake/hug me, as recompense. I felt so bad for this girl because she appeared to be so shaken by the whole experience and had this vulnerability about her. It almost appeared as if she wanted to cry but mostly we laughed. And that's my Demitri The Lover story. Win. Thus concludes my Oprah-Initiated Random Act of Kindness. Remember kids, it's us against them. Draw your line in the sand or fuck right off. Cheers!

/// *Onwards we go, comrades.

These absolutely stunning/tragic/beautiful photos come courtesy of Boston.com and should you feel the need to see more, visit here for more. After doing that, go see this string of photos. We're not really this useless, if you think big.

Hey remember that one time when Iran was on the verge of the most revolutionary of... revolutions, only to be overshadowed, dwarfed and forgotten by the death of Michael Jackson? Leave it to MJ to upstage the plight of a fucking disenfranchised NATION. An admittedly important entertainment figure in the realm of pop music and race relations who may or may not have placed his penis into the mouths of innocent children? What was that bit in the bible and other religious documents about false idols? I have trouble with my memory, these days. These days I do think that we as a collective mass of ... [failing] humans, have long forgotten the pivotal important bits of being... well, human. Iran in the midst of the most epically historical of times versus the passing of a popular junkie. Are you fucking shitting me? Is this serious? I realize that I sound like an elitist with a hot poker up my ass. If this is problematic for any of you, I implore you to suck it. We really don't have our priorities in order, do we. In & out of my day-to-day, I constantly ponder the ultimate question -- If Armageddon where to befall us all tomorrow, are any of us worth saving? Computer says NO.

SAS Omelette (left) Chicken Parm. (right) w/ prosciutto w/ balsamic vinegar w/ arugula mixed salad dressed with Virgin Olive Oil.

I used to think that Gordon Ramsay was this amazing person. He came from Scotland (a place I used to live in, and had the fondest of memories), swears a lot (like Liam, that's a plus) and was a famous chef. But all these sentiments of fondness quickly diminished after he released his Kitchen Nightmares show in the United States -- it was embarrassing to watch, just dreadful. I've quickly changed my opinions after having watched Jamie Oliver's Ministry of Food, only to deduce that Jamie Oliver is the real deal. He's also quite a huge humanitarian, really. My current dietary situation looks something like this; Protein, fiber, protein, fiber, protein, tea, water, protein, fiber. But on Fridays.... I allow myself a cheat meal. This serves as a benefit to my metabolism/spirit, WHO KNEW, because apparently it throws your entire system off and forces your metabolism to work in overdrive. Normally on these special fun days, I'd take advantage of the glorious 20 Dollar Hamburger. But I've since grown tired of that and now just cook myself whatever Podgy-Faced Jamie Oliver tells me to (once a week, that is). I'm a huge fan of eggs. A proper Omelette incorporates 3 eggs (3 egg yolks). In order to make it healthier, I use 1 egg yolk and 3 egg whites. It tastes fantastic and is proteinerriffic! Gee whizzz, thanks Jamie Oliver!

The above song is called Siren Song by Bat For Lashes. I hadn't heard it until last week, which surprised me. It's basically my favourite song by her. Should you wish to hear the song in its entirety, please go here. I just included the above video because it's a documentary trailer which features the song and it also feature Natasha Khan talking all lovely *shiver*. Musically, I'm also greatly fond of Florence And The Machine. You can hear examples here. This performance in Brighton England is glorious. She has the spirit of James Brown, for reals. And with that, imma fuck off and drink my sleepy-time tea and play about 45 minutes of online/multiplayer Call Of Duty: World At War (fighting Nazis, naturally) before retiring to my bedroom to read me some Joseph Conrad. Good evening to YOU! *karate chop/kick* mmhmph!

/// Oasis: The Next Generation

2009-06-25T20:29:00Z

♥

/// Mahmoud Immabeenhad

2009-06-13T19:49:31Z

"They say true love comes only once in a lifetime and even though we’re from opposite ends of the earth, my heart tells me you’re the one for me. Mahmoud. I remember when it started, saw you on the news you were hating gays, I was eating food but I was feeling you, and even though I disagreed with almost everything you said you aint wrong to me, so strong to me, you belong to me Like a very hairy Jake Gyllenhaal to me Mahmoud make my heart beat right out of my chest my mind says no but my body says yes Nuclear threat, the only threat I see is the threat of you not coming home with me. Our love for each other’s like when atoms collide Can’t express how I feel Ay yo Adam let’s ride And Iran, Iran so far away is your home, but in my heart you’ll stay He ran, for the president of Iran we ran together to a tropical island my man, Mahmoud is known for rilin’ smiling, if he can still do it then I can they call you weasel, they say your methods are medieval you can play the Jews I can be your Jim Caviezel S&M, nestlin’ when we’re wrestlin’ You can be the port that I park my vessel in So I try to mute the tv but you can still see me with your sleepy brown eyes, butter pecan thighs And your hairy butt… Yeah.

And Iran, Iran so far away come home, and in my arms you’ll stay Used to look at the stars and dream round the world same stars were seen And a twinkle in your eyes Mahmoud. Talk smooth to me, without a tie your pants high waisted, damn so fly. We can take a trip to the animal zoo and laugh at all the funny things that animals do Like Eugene (Levy) you got me straight trippin’ boo hope you look in my eyes and say I’m trippin’ too you say Iran don’t have the bomb but they already do you should know by now, it’s you. And Iran, Iran so far away is your home, but in my heart you’ll stay. You crazy for this one Mahmoud you can deny the holocaust all you want but you can’t deny that there’s something between us I know you say there’s no gays in Iran but you’re in New York now baby it’s time to stop hiding, and start living"

I was singing this in the shower this morning. I can't help but post this in honour of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's victorious "re-election". What a sight to behold all that shit was. I still can't quite comprehend how intolerant world leaders still exist in these modern times. I can't quite figure out which was worse news this past week - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad reclaiming his throne or the Holocaust Museum shooting. It's one in the same, I suspect - Backward hicks who fuck their siblings in the ass whilst self-righteously preaching from passages of their respective religious texts. Regardless of how intolerant I am [I hate everyone, equally] of morons, I'd like to think we can one day live in a world which recognizes basic human rights and not dispute certain historical events that actually fucking happened. But that's pipe dreams, isn't it. Additionally, I'd like to inform you all that the following clip of Louis CK is exactly how I feel about technology/people..

Hoooomans.

2009-06-11T18:11:10Z

Hi I just really wanted to post this new tune by The National. It's brilliant. I hate QTV though, the host is a bit tosh. I just invented a new word, there. Tosh refers to the crapness of something specific. I've seen the host in my neighbourhood many times. He goes to this sushi place called Omi and drives a fancy sport car (I think it's an Aston Martin *jealous*). His girlfriend/wife is this generic blonde piece of ass. She looks dumb as nails but there's a 10% chance I am in error. Doubt it, as per I'm right about everything. Anyway, how's it all going y'all? Does anyone want a pop/sandwich? My Omelette making skills are flawless, these days. I'll write about that and other culinary domination in due time. I saw a mommy raccoon carry her baby raccoon in her mouth across the street. It was super cute. That James Von Brunn fucker needs a good stabbing. I'd ask for five minutes alone. White supremacy still exists in these modern times? Are you fucking serious, humankind? Fuck me. And I'd like to point out that the security guard, Stephen Johns, is a national hero. Had he not intervened, scores more would have died, surely. Otay, gotta go! Cheers.

Mancs Can't Pronounce Their Ts. "SHI**Y CI*Y" (see?) & Donkeys Are Pretty Retarded :[

2009-06-01T04:21:46Z

A couple of weeks ago I built myself a new workstation. When the UPS guy arrived at my door (2 days earlier than anticipated, might I add...) with two, rather large, boxes, it felt very much like Christmas Day. I shan't delve into how awesome my new rig is. PSYKE, yes I fucking shall. It's seriously fast and fierce. I've thrown everything I can think of at it and it just laughs maniacally in my face -- Heavy global illumination CG scenes in Maya, multiply layered composited sequences... My computer just sits there, all befudled and tits bored. it's just like "Bitch, please". It's a bulldog, which is why I've named it Churchill. I do a lot of design-based and 3D-related work and what typically would take hours, now, take a mere minute or two. It's mental. To my credit, this was the result of my l337 geekness and weeks of research and sifting through various CPU/GPU/HD benchmarks to find the perfect fit *cough*. I also over-clocked the fuck outta everything. I was most excited in purchasing the GTX 280 (oc edition) which is a rather large GPU which offloads a great deal of graphical instruction sets from the actual CPU. Which results in the emotional equivalent to Manchester United sacking Germany & Barcelona in the same day, whilst Wayne Rooney bests Ronaldo in an epic display of showmanship, prior to Oasis performing post-match. I had originally wanted to have Windows XP and the latest incarnation of Linux (dual boot) as my OS environment, however, I have an SLI 3-way setup with my GTX280 so I had to use Windows Vista. To my surprise, Vista is not shit. I feel the need to defend Vista and Microsoft. I fundamentally believe that these Apple adds, although funny, are mostly misleading. Microsoft's biggest fault was releasing several different versions of the same operating system, people having to contend with the need to upgrade their computers in order to run Vista, and the rest was simply Vista's technically-faulted nature (it's not perfect). If you run Vista Ultimate, apply the 2 Service Packs, install a solid virus scanner (such as Kaspersky) as well as a malware-specific app such as Malwarebytes, you'll have virtually no problem with Vista. That's fact (bitch). Anyway, this geekrant has been brought to you by Starbucks' Caramel Machiatto.. Did anyone actually read this paragraph? Fuck me, roight? In summary, everything in my Adobe Creative Suit (Lightroom, Flash, Illustrator, Photoshop, Premiere Pro, After Effects etc,) loads in two seconds flat. Sausages!

Lalalalala. It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that my neighbourhood is vastly superior to yours :[ I feel it's going to be an annual thing whereupon I post pics of this hood. Spring and the fall. I prefer the fall. Nothing beats walkabouts in the fall, looking up at the victorian homes with their gingerbread trim against cloudy/scary skies whilst listening to tunes [,man]. Nothing is better. Not even Oasis/mayonaise/Natasha Khan. Nor this dumb/retarded/sad yet hugable Donkey. "Hey donkey. How're you doin'? Alright donkey, say hi to your mother for me!" -- SNL reference.

I feel this is a cross-sectionally fair representation of what I listen to these days.

I included Longwave but the song I intended to use was/is not available on Playlist.com, nor can it be found on any site including; youtube or hypem. The song I wanted to shove down your throats was called Sideways Sideways Rain. Whenever I listen to it, to the detriment of my neighbours, I'll do so in repeat. The bassline bits are fantastically magical. I highly recommend you find the song. Pillage villages, if needs be, it's that good. Or you could just bypass all that nonsensical drama and buy the album, wooot.

Honourable mentions to the saddest songs ever; Bat For Lashes' Sad Eyes and The National's 90 Mile Water Wall. And a firm thumbs up to the sky for Manchester's The Answering Machine who, along with every other Manc, can never pronounce 'City' properly. And to A Sunny Day In Glasgow for having the best tunes and the best band name.

*scrunchy face*
(darts off into the night)

The National - The Ying & Yang of The Sweet & Sour. "Sob" comes directly after "Soaring" [pic below]

2009-05-25T04:43:14Z

THIS.

The sorcerer/1920's Yiddish Farmer's hat needs to go. However, the bass player can remain.

The National (not The Veils [above]) on Thursday was truly Epic². The setlist was the following (* denotes new song, whereas boldedness refers to personal favs); Start A War, Brainy, Secret Meeting, Baby We'll Be Fine, Slow Show, Squalor Victoria, *Vanderlylle, Abel, All The Wine, Mistaken For Strangers, Ada, *Blood Buzz, Apartment Story, Fake Empire, *Runaway, Mr November, About Today . I was a bit pissed off that England and So Far Around The Bend were not played but that sentiment lasted for all of two seconds. I felt it a bit odd why The National opened up the show with Start A War because it's a bit dainty for a rock band to open with. They did, however, change it up a bit to be slightly more *UNF* in yo face. Most of my favourite, more popular songs were played and were in top form. It should also be stated that during Mr. November, Matt Berninger (lead singer fella) went, in customary fashion, apeshit -- The most apeshit, I've ever seen him go in any performance of the song. If Matt Berninger were a dinosaur he would be a brilliantskisaurus *geeks out*. It should also be documented that I have been to many a soldout concert at the Kool Haus but I have never seen that venue so packed. Packed to the point whereupon I could smell which version of Axe the guy in front of me was wearing :/ [sidenote: just a lil FYI for all in possession of a penis -- Axe deodarent/spray smells horrid. Don't use it anymore, cheers!] Regardless, it's just great because it's high time The National get all the accolades they've been getting in the last half year. I was a bit in shock in observing the demographics of the audience. It basically comprised of; 30% Frat Boys, 30% Borderline Yuppies, 10% Certifiable Yuppies, 20% Normal Concert Goers, 10% Scenesters. OMG and I saw 3 Straight-up/Off The Boat Chavs, it was so fucked up, y'all. In being mortified by the presence of Frat Boys, I felt I had to follow the mandate of logic. Which, essentially, dictates that although Frat Boys are shit, they must share some measure of good taste in music. However unfortunate this is, these are the ways things are.

About the only drag of the evening's festivities was the inclusion of a token Awkwardly Generic Singalonger. I shall now define this to you. Awkwardly Generic Singalonger is a woman who shan't peep a melody for the entirety of the evening until a familiar song, namely the most popular song played that evening, commences. When this chain of events unfolds (off key), you and your friends, who are unfortunately situated directly next to said Awkwardly Generic Singalonger, will become uncomfortably irritated. The moment shall indeed pass, in good time, but not before your moment has been temporarily ruined. I can share with you the rules & protocols of The Singalong, should you request them.

I normally pride myself on discovering all the bands I love so much but The National was brought graciously into my life via someone else in such an ironic manner. In an attempt to return the favour to anyone else, I'll pay it forward by now hyperlinking my personal favourite National songs in order of priority to further big primp this, my second favourite, band (ever). It's all about SHARING n'shit. Cheers! xo

1. 90-Mile Water Wall <-- The greatest song by The National. Epic in every sense of the word. But maybe it's not wise to play this on a Monday morning, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh lulz.. 2. England (Unreleased as of yet) 3. Guest Room Never has this song been performed live. Tis a shame. 4. Driver, Surprise me Very rare song 5. Mistaken For Strangers Argueably their most well-known song. 6. Looking For Astronauts (particularly this version, click on the second offering) 7. Secret Meeting If this song were a book, it'd be considered the greatest work of modern literature. 8. Blank Slate A tune one would practice their best Charlie Brown dance, and stuff 9. Mr. November Hell's yeah, jigga! 10. About Today

For the past couple of weekends I've been invested in family bidness. I've meant to highlight some of this in here but I've only had a chance to allocate some time to properly do so, now. A couple of Saturdays ago, I met the wife of the president of Poland at a ceremony at the Polish Consulate in Mississauga. This was in honour of an event my father attended, whereupon he received an award from The First Lady [of Poland] herself. It was kind of an honour, so, WIN.

Not this last Saturday but the one previous, my mother returned from a whirlwind trip to visit my sister in Malawi Africa. I am now going to post photos I took of my father's big day as well as photographs my mother took from her travels.

Happy African People Win

My mother flew to Manchester and took a short train ride from Piccadily station to visit my uncle in a place called Mytholmroyd situated in Yorkshire.

This is where my uncle lives. Atop a hill overlooking the village of Mytholmroyd. I've been there twice -- The last time I was there was a little while back when I had initially gone to England to take part in a youth-related initiative to restore Hadrian's wall in Carlisle (the very north of England). Everyone in my group was a pretentious dick with their heads up their asses reading William Faulkner, so I, already with my head enough up my own ass, fucked off to The Lake District where I found God. Which begs the question; Sean what does God look like?

This.

photo credit: This random spritely chap

I digress.

My sister lives in Malawi for the past couple of years. She initially worked for the United Nation in Sudan but left in wake of personal and (I'm guessing, by the gravity of that particular situation) psychological reasons. She might be returning to work for the U.N. at a posting elsewhere but currently lives in Malawi. The above view is from the house she rents.

That's her backyard.

That's my momski. Since forever, my mother has made fun of my love for Oasis. In the above photograph, you'll observe that she resembles a rather cute female version of Liam Gallagher. That's the best working definition of irony

That's my uncle, uhhhhhhhhhhh, hugging a tree. He and his wife accompanied my mother to Africa in visiting my sister. My sister set them all up in rooms at her abode. It is important that I represent my family relatives and do so well. I'll be a bit condensed with this, but my uncle is from my Polish side of the family. He's Polish but was born and raised in England. He can speak Polish but he has a native English accent, or Yorkshire accent.

His mother was a Polish Political prisoner and was imprisoned in Auschwitz concentration camp. Yeah, THE infamous Auschwitz. Not only that but she was there from its inception to its demise -- which is to say she served the entirety of her imprisonment, there. She rarely spoke of the horrors witnessed there, for obvious reasons. From there
she moved to England and raised my uncle years later. My uncle's mother was very much a mother-figure to my mother, as it turns out and my uncle was and is very fond of my mother.

Stranger still is the fact that one of my favourite, if not my single favourite, book is Joseph Conrad's Lord Jim. It was revealed to me, rather recently, that many years ago my mother impressed this book upon my uncle and he took a profound interest/love in all of Joseph Conrad's novels. But it was Lord Jim (the most epic of tales regarding the sea) that stuck with my uncle. Years would pass and he would then join -- through his mother's rank -- The British Royal Navy. This was all my mother's doing. Win.

It's just a coincidence that uncle looks like Joseph Conrad. A lil bit.

I should also inform you that my uncle legally changed his middle name to Conrad but spelt with a K. LOL

The lake that my sister is situated by is one of, if not the, largest lakes in Africa. It's infested with crocodiles and hippos that eat people who don't like/listen to oasis. In her area it is safe to swim in the lake but it's not advised as per you can contract foreign illnesses and fucking die.

'Blur fans?! You shan't pass!' *chomp chomp*

I didn't know this but if you see a hippo opening it's mouth in such a fashion (above) it's a signal that the hippo is preparing to attack you. I just thought I'd inform you of this in the event you are starring down the path of a hippo. Jaws open, run the other way!

More happy african people. Yay! I should tell you that Malawi is not a place for the fat German tourists spreading about, poolside, at fancy five star resorts. These things do not exist, here. Contrary to the happy display in the above photograph, there are a lot of hardships in these parts. The recession has hit the world fairly hard but you'd never really know it in Malawi. Apart from the fact that a jar of Mayonaise costs over 10 euros, if you want to eat something you walk into the lake. If you want something to eat you walk into the mawfuckin' LAKE. You want to fry your fish with some butter? Here's a cow. Make it! I'd surely die in such a place :[ Moral of the story: if you have nothing to lose, you've lost nothing. I just made up a proverb. WIN!

In addition to visiting my sister, my mother's other point of interest was seeing some petrogliphs [sic.?] Photos not included.

The photos I took of my father's International All Things Polish Appreciation Day.

The first lady of Poland standing next to a man who is apparently rather keen on himself for having worn a suit made of, what appears to be, a space-age fabric from the future.

Insert some random brilliantly written bit about dashing out for a smoke only to suck on a nicotine dispensing inhaler all the while dreaming of the day of owning a house near the lake/sea with the inclusion of that thing in the middle, there -- whatever it's called.

I haven't gone through all of the photos and shall eventually include the ones of my father. I've really not had a lot of time to devote to this.

I should also mention that my dad's English and speaks flawless Polish.

POLSKA!

Lost Summary Gif Stylies.

2009-05-21T05:03:04Z

I've not had a chance to discuss the Season Finale of Lost until now. I believe the following Animated GIF I made is a proper representation of the themes highlighted in said episode. As you can tell I'm brilliant, cheers!

As is customary in Lost, the finale was epic and brilliant but also as is customary, the writers of the show cut us short. Jacob was finally revealed and we all ceremoniously rejoiced/shat ourselves, up until he fucking died. That's not much character development, is it? I did not like a lot of small details in the episode but overall, I was quite impressed. Jack got properly p4n3d 4r33lz n'things.

It should be observed that I declare today, Thursday May 21st, International The National Appreciation Day. You may be a fan of the band (they're my 2nd favourite band EVER). You might not be. If you are, you may choose to observe this day in solitude. Or you may find yourself @ The Kool Haus later tonight, where I'll be poppin' along at a hundred million miles an hour. I've not been this excited to see a band since I first saw Oasis back in 94. That's telling you somfing' innnnnnnnnnnit? I bid you a good day, comrades. Zut alors!

"You must be somewhere in London, you must be loving the life in the rain."

2009-05-17T22:53:04Z

*dryhumps spring*

Hi. I'm going to update this motherfucker and give my afterthoughts regarding the Season Finale of Lost, tomorrow (that was some crazy shit, padres, but we'll get to that tomorrow, kay!). I've not had time at all :[ I just really wanted to post these pics I took this afternoon after having metaphorically dryhumped the ass of spring, or somfin'.

What's everyone doing? Did you all have a good breakfast this morning after you woke up? Is the economy fixed yet? Is terrorism still a thing? Is it safe to play outside now?

Should you be a fan of The National, I am now diverting your eyes and ears to a new song of theirs, entitled England (it's a live recording, not a soundboard recording). It's about as brilliant as I hoped a song called "England" ought to be. Because that's destiny, I figure -- if you follow their music, they reference England a lot, which is awesome like your mother! Maybe more awesome than you mother. I just don't know.

Speaking of The National, they're playing this week and I/we are seeing them! Hellz ya jigga! I'm super excited. I just pissed my pantskies! *high fives incontinence*

Foals // Red Socks Pugie

2009-05-09T11:42:28Z

Good morning Saturday sunshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. This is the greatest song (and video) I have heard this side of 2009. You need to respect its megalithic authority. Authoritaaaaaai.

Example of Music Genius: The lead up to minute 2:15 and then at 2:15 it kicks off. It's clusterfuckingly beautiful. Ugh. And I'm blissfully cognisant that I do sound a weee 'lil bit like a twat. Fuck me, roight? It's a bit dancy too. You can dance if you want to! G'head! Get it on with your bad self, ya'all. asdfas!!

"In Context She said, these terminals once again. These wasp's nests, these terminals once again. These heart swells, these contexts in your head. Oh hell no, these vessels. Our heart swells up, these vessels. Our heart swells up, which makes us explode. Oh hell no, these vessels. Our heart swells up, which welcome. Our heart swells up, let's make them explode. Oh, what the hell, we should've said. No, oh hell, we should've said. No, heart swells up, which makes us explode. She said these wasp's nests. These wasp's nests, These contexts in your head. Once again..."

Well friends, next week is the last episode of Lost until next year or whenever the fuckski. Then there's only 15 episodes left of the entire fucking show. Which begs the question... What are we going to do then? *scrunchy face* Cheers!

Of Zombies & Starbucks.

2009-05-06T20:32:03Z

ZOMYGAWDGUYS, you don't even KNOW how much I love me my mawfuckin' Venti Caramel Fraps. For reals. RE: Shaun of The Dead. A. My name is Sean and it's the legit way of spelling it, all Celtic n' all. B. I live in Cabbagetown which looks like some quaint place in England. C. We used to have a historic Bar called The Winchester (just like in the movie) which looked almost exactly like The Winchester in the movie!. D. I think I know how to use a shotgun. E. At the very least I know how to take a motherfuckin' zombie DOWN.

Is anyone else annoyed by CNN's (and others) use of the internet in their broadcasts? Specifically when a broadcaster goes like this; "Let's go to the twitter boards" and then will read some n00b's comment and be all "We here at CNN need to inform you that LOL is an acronym for 'laughing out loud'" They do this every fucking time and I always LOL and kinda wanna stab myself in the forehead, at the same time. Hmph, curious.

Lost in 5 hours'ish. Ugggggh

Longwave is one of my favourite bands.

2009-05-05T04:06:18Z

At this late hour, I have a burning requirement for shit chinese take-out, street meat (hot dogs not whores), Poutine with bacon, deep-fried mars bar, a 20 dollar gourmet burger with brie cheese, a proper donair with proper sweet sauce with finely chopped onions, KFC chicken or Popeye's chicken dipped in smoked applewood cheddar to form a sort of poutine of its very own, sam's pizza, Gelato, those breakfast crumpets stuffed with egg and sausage at starbucks (never had em. Look good) a turkey panini accompanied by a banana-flavoured french soda (milk not soda), calamari...

Cake.

Synergy.

2009-05-03T21:36:32Z

This is what I tend to look like if I have incurred a nerve injury via my aching tooth. The left side of my face is swollen. I haven't shaved in two days. That's unfortunate, since I really enjoy shaving. I've not washed my hair in two days -- hence the hat. I think I need to inform you that I smell off. A couple of days ago I had what appeared to be a major toothache. This dental ache then developed into a sort of living hell, for myself personally. Yesterday swelling had started to breach the contours of my left cheek. This then permeated into even greater swelling this morning with the inclusion of a swollen eye lid. Essentially I look like someone went mental on the left side of my face. If I had taken off my glasses you'd see. And then you'd feel sorry for me. Maybe. Note the glistening, left of my nose -- this is where the swelling begins.

The pain has subsided but I don't know how much longer I can take this swelling business. I just feel awful and kind of want to take it out on anyone. Randomly and the like. For whatever reason, today I hate the words synergy and diversity. In this particular case, don't think of diversity relating to races, think it more having to do with people -- and the abundance thereof. I would surely die in Japan. It's on days like today where I just know if the person waiting in line at the local grocery store is one item above the 8 item limit for the Express Lane, I'd just lose my shit.

I had initially planned on going to the Mogwai show tomorrow night, just down the road (I'm not going now). I hate Mogwai. I think they're shit. But I did want to see The Twilight Sad, who are apparently opening for them. That's on par with Dr. Phil having written his book on weight loss -- which is to say it makes no fucking sense. I don't know what to say about this band. They're amazing. According to my iTunes I've listened to the above song, "And She Would Darken The Memory", over 400 times. This is excluding my iPod. That's fucking crazy. I'd LOL at that absurdity if it didn't hurt my face so much. Anyway, it's somewhere on my shortlist of Greatest Songs Ever Made. It's epic.

For more on The Twilight Sad go here