Fashionistas. We don't need ya!

/// We're In The Shit Now

I have not updated in a while. My free time has been devoted to studying for various Exam Certifications, so please don't think I'm neglecting y'all. I just strive to be rich so I can buy you all nice things.

Demitri The [Unloved] Lover

Before I relay the chain of events that unfolded this afternoon, I must briefly inform you of who Demitri The Lover is. In short, Demitri [The Lover] is basically the taint of the Ass that is Toronto. He's a sort of, for lack of more appropriate words, cult-leader who's responsible for a group of people seeking to get laid...? in the most deviant ways. His actions are borderline rapist. He's a sleazy sexual predator who has based his.... hobby.... on Tom Cruise's character in the movie Magnolia. You can visit his official website here: http://www.dimitrithelover.com/ About a year ago, I had posted on here of THIS YOUTUBE VIDEO of a recorded conversation between Demitri and some girl named Olga. He's absolutely fucking crazy. This story is a little bizarre because it was only last week that Demetri was mentioned on the Toronto LJ community.

Earlier today, Demitri The Lover met me. I was shopping for groceries at the No Frills in my hood. Ahead of me in line by two people was a young woman by herself. For whatever reason or reasons unknown to me, I had trained my attention, whilst waiting, on her for awhile. I wasn't thinking anything in particular other than, I wonder what she does for a living / Trying to figure out what she bought for groceries / Noticing freckles. I didn't think much else of it all, as per I was paying for my groceries in anticipation of my dinner. Which was fantastic, obvz. So anyway, I'm walking to the intersection of Parliament & Carlton (in front of Home Hardware) when I hear an audible ...(something something) elegant. I then turn around only to see what appeared to be Demitri The Lover talking to the very same girl I had seen in the grocery store. I had to do a double-take because I didn't really believe all I was seeing. He looked proper fucking surreal with his long curly greasy hair and Gino clothing. He was not particularly [f]ugly but he was blathering like a fucking n00b and this, fairly innocent-looking, girl was being subjected to this very awkward scenario. So I paused a bit, thought of my options and concluded I had to do what I had to do. I had vaguely remembered a scene in a commercial or a movie in which a person diffuses a similar situation by approaching the would-be victim and pretending to know this person by striking up a conversation which takes centre-stage. So I ~~CLOCKED THE FUCKER IN THE HEAD~~ walked up to the girl and said OMG JENN IS THAT YOU? and I'm fairly certain she knew I was playing out this fictitious scenario as a means to saving her from the clusterfuck of situation currently unfolding in her life, right there and then. So then I'm all loike, OMG this is awesome. I haven't seen you in sooooooo long....*bullshit bullshit*. I was just heading up to Starbucks to get a coffee *bullshit bullshit*, walk with me? and she was like Yes! Let's go! or something. So then Demitri The Lover, being a little bitch, was all like Uhhh....please read the literature, you won't be dissapointed.... in this sort of defeated tone complete with a smile that's the metaphorical twin of a badly-executed fake tan. I just gave him The Eye. Not many people have seen my The Eye look... I digress. So then I walk her away from Demitri all fucking suave-like. I felt like this girl might be thinking that I was part of this ploy or scheme brought forth by Demetri The Lover, so I basically just walked with her to the corner and informed her of who Demitri The Lover was and why I approached her in the first place. I did all this as she was reading this pamphlet he had provided. If you curious to what the pamphlet was, click here. She would occasionally utter a WTF?! intermittently throughout our conversation as she read the literature. As it turns out, she just moved to Toronto and to this area. So I can only imagine how she must have felt. I then properly introduced myself, shook her hand and was on my way. She said Thank you so much and gave me an expression which was representative of the requirement to bake me a cake/hug me, as recompense. I felt so bad for this girl because she appeared to be so shaken by the whole experience and had this vulnerability about her. It almost appeared as if she wanted to cry but mostly we laughed. And that's my Demitri The Lover story. Win. Thus concludes my Oprah-Initiated Random Act of Kindness. Remember kids, it's us against them. Draw your line in the sand or fuck right off. Cheers!

/// *Onwards we go, comrades.

These absolutely stunning/tragic/beautiful photos come courtesy of Boston.com and should you feel the need to see more, visit here for more. After doing that, go see this string of photos. We're not really this useless, if you think big.

Hey remember that one time when Iran was on the verge of the most revolutionary of... revolutions, only to be overshadowed, dwarfed and forgotten by the death of Michael Jackson? Leave it to MJ to upstage the plight of a fucking disenfranchised NATION. An admittedly important entertainment figure in the realm of pop music and race relations who may or may not have placed his penis into the mouths of innocent children? What was that bit in the bible and other religious documents about false idols? I have trouble with my memory, these days. These days I do think that we as a collective mass of ... [failing] humans, have long forgotten the pivotal important bits of being... well, human. Iran in the midst of the most epically historical of times versus the passing of a popular junkie. Are you fucking shitting me? Is this serious? I realize that I sound like an elitist with a hot poker up my ass. If this is problematic for any of you, I implore you to suck it. We really don't have our priorities in order, do we. In & out of my day-to-day, I constantly ponder the ultimate question -- If Armageddon where to befall us all tomorrow, are any of us worth saving? Computer says NO.

SAS Omelette (left) Chicken Parm. (right) w/ prosciutto w/ balsamic vinegar w/ arugula mixed salad dressed with Virgin Olive Oil.

I used to think that Gordon Ramsay was this amazing person. He came from Scotland (a place I used to live in, and had the fondest of memories), swears a lot (like Liam, that's a plus) and was a famous chef. But all these sentiments of fondness quickly diminished after he released his Kitchen Nightmares show in the United States -- it was embarrassing to watch, just dreadful. I've quickly changed my opinions after having watched Jamie Oliver's Ministry of Food, only to deduce that Jamie Oliver is the real deal. He's also quite a huge humanitarian, really. My current dietary situation looks something like this; Protein, fiber, protein, fiber, protein, tea, water, protein, fiber. But on Fridays.... I allow myself a cheat meal. This serves as a benefit to my metabolism/spirit, WHO KNEW, because apparently it throws your entire system off and forces your metabolism to work in overdrive. Normally on these special fun days, I'd take advantage of the glorious 20 Dollar Hamburger. But I've since grown tired of that and now just cook myself whatever Podgy-Faced Jamie Oliver tells me to (once a week, that is). I'm a huge fan of eggs. A proper Omelette incorporates 3 eggs (3 egg yolks). In order to make it healthier, I use 1 egg yolk and 3 egg whites. It tastes fantastic and is proteinerriffic! Gee whizzz, thanks Jamie Oliver!

The above song is called Siren Song by Bat For Lashes. I hadn't heard it until last week, which surprised me. It's basically my favourite song by her. Should you wish to hear the song in its entirety, please go here. I just included the above video because it's a documentary trailer which features the song and it also feature Natasha Khan talking all lovely *shiver*. Musically, I'm also greatly fond of Florence And The Machine. You can hear examples here. This performance in Brighton England is glorious. She has the spirit of James Brown, for reals. And with that, imma fuck off and drink my sleepy-time tea and play about 45 minutes of online/multiplayer Call Of Duty: World At War (fighting Nazis, naturally) before retiring to my bedroom to read me some Joseph Conrad. Good evening to YOU! *karate chop/kick* mmhmph!

Current Music: Pete & The Pirates -- Mr. Understanding

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