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"Gonna ride outta here on a big white horse like some poetic whore."

I would not know what to write if I were to make a summary of 2008. I would just like to express that I’m extremely thankful to be here in 2009. I think the last year has been a very bad year – which is apparently a shared sentiment among everyone here. I shan’t be highlighting in explicit detail the events that have unfolded, I’ll say; In 2008 it’s been a fascinating display of taking two steps forward then three steps back. Four steps forward, eight steps back. One might be inclined to think I was dancing, really. In 2008 I have hustled my ass off, developed skill sets I never thought possible/capable, I’ve had success and disappointments, only to become confused as to what I’m really supposed to be doing. I feel I am more than this. But what “this” is to be, is currently beyond me. I feel it’s big. I hope it’s big. "That’s what she said". In 2008 interpersonal relationships between myself and others have hit rock bottom because, for whatever reason, I flew so high and mighty on my own morals. Turns out I’m the biggest hypocrite of them all. Which is to say (to a couple of you here and a few others elsewhere) that I am truly sorry. It’s my fault. I was wrong. I’m ashamed of myself. In 2008 I’ve battled being the extrovert to being extremely introverted. In 2009 I strive for a calming balance of the two forces. In 2008 I’ve wasted a lot of time. I’ve wasted a lot of time. I’ve wasted a lot of time. In 2008 I’ve seen the fall (literally) of one of my personal heroes (Noel Gallagher) on what was to be a night of redemption and celebratory dryhumping. On what could only be described as the weirdest fucking night of my life. All is not lost, in 2008 I managed to rid myself of panic attacks. For five years I have been living through, at times, a hellish mental state that dictates to me, cognitively, that the entire world is going to implode on me. It’s been hellishly debilitating and I’ve had to deal/cope with it on a daily basis. In the worst instances I’ve spent a great deal of time in the E.R.. In 2008 I took ownership of this and dealt with it w/ the exclusion of drugs and psychologists. It was 50% me and the actions I took upon myself and 50%, I dunno, God/Allah/Buddha/ Yaweh/Santa going “Alright SAS, here’s an early Christmas present”. You may have won some money in the lottos, the racetrack, the casino etc.. but I am here to say I have faired better than you did and feel incredibly, dare I say, blessed and fortunate. In 2008 my morals have been challenged and bent, only to have me come right back in yo face to tell you in my best cute-scruntchy face that at the end of the day the only things that will ever matter is love, family and surrounding yourself with a small collective that would gladly risk a knifing to the penis/vagina (for you). If this makes me sound like some bearded Faulkner-reading, patchouli-smelling Hippie Norwegian, then so be it.

We are now currently reaching “The Arc” of this self-induced Oprah Moment.

In 2008, sadly, three of you have died. There’s not much to say there, other than; I’m a big fan of the Sunday roast and I adhere to the rule which dictates “the first person who’s cellphone is answered must do the dishes”. In 2009 I implore you all to not fucking die.

P.S.; There are unsubstantiated rumours that Livejournal is shutting down. I’m pretty sure the Russians will sell it to the highest bidder so stop freaking out. If I’m wrong, well we’ve all had a good run with it haven’t we ♥. I am now going to be posting photos from the holidays as well as photos of my girlfriend. I don't know what to say about her other than I'm quite smitten over the whole thing. Our relationship is quite new and everything is happening so fast. I know a few things in this life and I know she's nothing short of a princess. We are very much in love. And that's all I have to say about that

( Click for more photographs and such )

Current Music: Ian Brown - F.E.A.R.

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